This guy here showed up for bike jousting but he must have heard dick jousting. They say when you’re a hammer, wverything looks like a nail. Well, when you’re @ burningman everything looks like a dick. Maybe he’d like to go back and check out the dildo jousting…
What kind of fucktard comes to burning man without so much as a cowboy hat and a picaso recreation on his chest? Seriously dude. A safari hat a watch and not even as much as foreskin to keep the sun off your fountain of joy.
photo by foxgrrl on Flickr
Samuel here sits by the outhouse and contemplates what life would be like without Burningman. He thinks back on his childhood and laments his prudish white collar upbringing in Nebraska and longs for the kind of angst and mommy hate that would allow him to pierce his scrotum, wear short pants and join his secret crush, Jane, (who has always just assumed Samuel’s thoughtful sensitivity meant he was gay) out on the playa for some nude yogic sphincter stretching. Until then, he’s just going to sit there by the bars of his self inflicted prison and try to morally rationalize masturbating to this image.
On day 5 of Burningman 08 Tina and Joey had shown their tits to 40,000 or their closest friends, but had yet to get their dildos out in the light of day. Fortunately at least 3 people were there to record this on film and one guy who just wanted a closer look at those dildos! (Hay stephanne. They’re genuine VixSkin in the “experimenting frat boy” size.
If you don’t have a penis, don’t despair, there’s still a way to radically express your inner beauty, with body paint!
When your little sister was playing with her Ken doll while Barbie was having her chi centered at the chiropractor’s office, sometimes she’d use her fingernail polish to make sense of the confusing mound beneath Ken’s slacks. It probably looked something like this. We know your sister found out what Barbie was missing. (boy do we!) But I’m guessing she didn’t find out from this tool.
androgynous
photo by Naturalturn on Flickr
There are 3 things you never want to depict in body paint on a naked woman. Can you guess which one “Body Painter Dave” mistakenly placed here above this woman’s vagina?
People of Burning Man Body Art Rating: 8
Originality: 7
Color Palate: 7
Boobies: 9
Mitigating factors: Tigger’s penis
Photo by nicoyogui on Flickr
If you look closely, there is something coming out of this guys wang. I won’t tell you what it is, cause who the hell wants to know what comes out some random dudes johnson. Suffice it to say, he was pretty stoked not to be tramping alone.
photo by Albany Tim on Flickr
Reggie here was giving radical self reliance a little less attention than the expression. Though he had enough body paint for three months, he neglected to bring enough food for the three weeks he planned to be on the playa. Before the last week was up he tried eating those body paints. Since even they were laced with ecstasy, he went out with a smile on his face.
People of Burning Man Body Art Rating: 5
Originality: 4
Color Palate: 3
Boobies: 1
Mitigating factors: Junk is cropped out.
