If you don’t have a penis, don’t despair, there’s still a way to radically express your inner beauty, with body paint!
When your little sister was playing with her Ken doll while Barbie was having her chi centered at the chiropractor’s office, sometimes she’d use her fingernail polish to make sense of the confusing mound beneath Ken’s slacks. It probably looked something like this. We know your sister found out what Barbie was missing. (boy do we!) But I’m guessing she didn’t find out from this tool.
androgynous
photo by Naturalturn on Flickr
There are 3 things you never want to depict in body paint on a naked woman. Can you guess which one “Body Painter Dave” mistakenly placed here above this woman’s vagina?
People of Burning Man Body Art Rating: 8
Originality: 7
Color Palate: 7
Boobies: 9
Mitigating factors: Tigger’s penis
Photo by nicoyogui on Flickr
If you look closely, there is something coming out of this guys wang. I won’t tell you what it is, cause who the hell wants to know what comes out some random dudes johnson. Suffice it to say, he was pretty stoked not to be tramping alone.
photo by Albany Tim on Flickr
Reggie here was giving radical self reliance a little less attention than the expression. Though he had enough body paint for three months, he neglected to bring enough food for the three weeks he planned to be on the playa. Before the last week was up he tried eating those body paints. Since even they were laced with ecstasy, he went out with a smile on his face.
People of Burning Man Body Art Rating: 5
Originality: 4
Color Palate: 3
Boobies: 1
Mitigating factors: Junk is cropped out.
Photo by Muddmonkey on Flickr
“Honestly,” Pippi [her burningman name] later claimed, “i didn’t know they were pot brownies! and Desert Snowflake [his real name] told me they were 100% vegan with no fat or sugar at all!”
Sure honey, and those were monkey’s flying out of your butt, not 14 pounds of half digested playa dust that you mistook for brownie batter. When you wake up, maybe you can trade your virginity for a clean pair of pants.
Posted in Stoned
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Tagged brownies, pot
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Fhoto by Foxgrrl on Flickr
“Hay has anyone seen a red 2×6? It’s the last piece i need to finish my lego Bikram Yoga studio.”
Dude, even lego men wear pants, and occasionally space suits. Look into it.
Posted in Back, Full Monty
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Tagged lego
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A) Where did the nipples go? They chaffed off dragging in the playa dust.
B) How could something so wrong feel so right? Ectasy
C) That scorpion used to be a butterfly
D) All of the above
Posted in Frontal
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Tagged Holyshit, Mandigo
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